My clients teach me lessons I don’t always recognize as such in the moment. But I really do leave every engagement just a little smarter in one way or another.
In any situation—even when your role is that of “expert”—there are always opportunities to learn something new. Here are five lessons learned from clients that have shifted and enhanced how I get my best work done.
Related Episode: Why "lifelong learning" is more than a buzzword
Modern Mentor is hosted by Rachel Cooke. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
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Hey, it’s Rachel Cooke, your Modern Mentor. I’m the founder of Lead Above Noise—we help companies craft amazing employee experiences and run leadership development programs that activate change. You know, as much as I love formal leadership development, I think we all have the opportunity to be learning every day in the regular rhythms of doing our work. Check out my episode on “lifelong learning” from a few weeks ago to hear my love letter to continuous learning and how to rock it—I’ll throw a link in the show notes.
It’s funny because my clients bring me in for my expertise—to equip and empower them to lead their teams more effectively. But I’ve noticed something kind of quirky. With each passing year of running my business I’ve become a little more expert… but also a little more student. My clients teach me lessons I don’t always recognize as such in the moment. But I really do leave every engagement just a little smarter in one way or another.
Today I want to share a few of my favorite lessons learned over the years from clients—what they’ve taught me and how I think you might be able to put these pearls into action for yourself.
This one comes courtesy of Elaine. And it’s had a huge influence on my approach to facilitating a meeting, a workshop, a coaching session—you name it.
I’m a planner by nature. And in the early days of Lead Above Noise, I was smart and prepared… and easily frazzled. I’d plan any meeting down to the minute, I’d script, I’d rehearse, and I’d know my stuff inside and out. But friend, if something—and I mean anything—threw me off… it was not a cute moment.
But my client Elaine’s approach to preparing for basically anything was “Plan tight, hang loose,” And it meant have a plan, yes. Know what you want to say, what outcomes you want to achieve, what questions you want to answer—but also be willing to flex to the needs of the audience or participants. The best conversations are somewhat organic—so let the people go where they need to.
If I’m running a planning session with a leadership team, for example, I know I need to leave them with clarity around their priorities, their commitments, their timelines. Those outcomes are not negotiable—otherwise, the session won’t have delivered.
And I’ll also go in with a facilitation plan—a set of questions I intend to use the guide the discussion. But if, in the moment, the team needs to move in a different direction—like they need to discuss a project from last year that went off the rails and determine how to prevent that from repeating in the new year, or If they want to ask me questions about how I’m seeing other clients tackle similar challenges—I can roll with that. As long as we land in the right spot.
This wisdom is all about staying agile and flexible while keeping an eye on the destination.
Now, for you. Do you have a presentation coming up? A job interview? Are you running a team meeting soon? Have your key points—the things you know you want to leave behind. But also make sure you’re listening deeply in the moment, letting the others in the room cover whatever ground they need to. This will leave you more successful in the end.
This one’s sponsored by Jake. He had a lot of pithy jams in his pocket but this one was my favorite.
What I loved about Jake was his love of healthy debate. He believed that the best ideas came neither just from his head nor mine, but from our collective willingness to fully hear each other’s ideas and points, and land on the best solution or way forward.
Jake used “strong opinions loosely held” as his classic refrain to say always have a point of view. The stronger the better. Your job is to make sure your point of view has gotten air—that it’s been expressed, listened to, and fully understood.
But once the others in the room have heard and considered it, your job is to release it and be willing to hear the other ideas.
Too often we show up so committed to selling our idea that we lose the ability to fully hear others.
Jake’s pearl reminds me that my goal isn’t to see my idea prevail—only to see it get a fair shot. But if at the end of the day it’s just not the best idea on the table, I’ve still done it its service.
This lesson is about thinking and listening with a whole heart.
Your turn. What drum have you maybe been banging so hard for so long that you’ve tuned out all the other possibilities around you? What would it take to convince you your idea truly has been heard… but now just isn’t the moment to implement it? What are you ready to release?
OK—full disclosure. This came to me by way of Jim. But I learned only later that this came to Jim by way of Dire Straits. But hey—I guess there’s business wisdom to be found everywhere if you just look—right?
This one is about resilience and persistence.
Jim ran a large sales organization. And sales can be a tough business. It comes with a lot of rejection, a lot of fails. And one of Jim’s greatest talents as a leader was to continuously help his team see the bigger picture and keep the hard stuff in perspective.
“Some days you’re the windshield and some days you’re the bug” was his favorite reminder. Bugs are always hitting windshields—it’s part of life. And it’s inevitable that on some days you’ll be that poor bug, feeling the slam of pain. But always remembering you’ve got good days as well is the thing that keeps you doing on the rough ones.
I remember this when I get a no from a client or no from a magazine not opting to publish a piece I’ve written. Because on balance I’ve collected so very many yesses—the thing that keeps my business successful.
Finding ways to stay optimistic and steer clear of self-pity helps sustain momentum.
So now you. The next time you get to be the lucky windshield, hold onto that feeling of victory. Make a note, send yourself an email—do whatever you need to in order to be able to recall that feeling the next time a windshield wiper puts you down for the count.
This gem comes from James. And it’s about accountability. And I’ll just say this. The “W” stands for Write. The “D” stands for Down. The “S” stands for exactly what you think it stands for. But we’re a family show. So… write “S” down.
We all—if we’re honest—have a tendency to promise things we just forget to do. And the point here is to always be someone who delivers on any promise you make.
I mean, do I really need to say more on this one?
Say what you’ll do and then do what you say. This will keep you winning all year long.
Thanks Elaine, Jake, Jim, and James!