Communicating is something we all do daily. But for all our efforts, we’re not always maximizing its impact. Let’s talk about ways to make our communication more meaningful.
Communicating is something we all do daily. But for all our efforts, we’re not always maximizing its impact. Let’s talk about ways to make our communication more meaningful.
Modern Mentor is hosted by Rachel Cooke. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
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Hey, it’s Rachel Cooke, your Modern Mentor. I’m the founder of Lead Above Noise—a firm helping leaders end the tug of war between people and performance. Finding ways to drive results and engagement together. We do leader bootcamps, keynotes, and Pulse checks to help build custom blueprints. Just let us know what you need.
So, fun fact about me. I’m a tough customer when it comes to pithy quotes meant to offer life advice. Like, so many of them sound good…until you really think about them.
Like if we’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover then why don’t books all have the same cover?
Or, if we’re supposed to live every day as if it’s our last, then who’s gonna pay the mortgage?
Am I cynical? A little. But I’m also practical. Which is probably why I love this one quote by George Bernard Shaw. And If you’ve ever been a workshop I’ve run on communication, then you’ve seen it. He said “the biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
I love this because no matter how long I sit with it – and at this point it’s been years – it stays true. And wise.
In every instance of communication – verbal, non-verbal, or written. In person, or virtual. Synchronous or asynchronous. There are always those giving the message and those receiving it. And so often those don’t align. The meaning intended doesn’t match the meaning received.
Leaders think they’ve said something 1000 times and employees have no awareness of the thing at all. Because what the leader believes they’ve said just isn’t what’s been received.
Leader or not, we’re all the transmitters of communication sometimes. So let’s talk about some ways you can dial up your meaning, reducing the misses and making sure your message has meaning.
1. It’s only valuable if it’s debatable
One reason communication fails to deliver meaning is…it’s totally bland.
One client of mine calls it the Apple Pie test. As in – if you’re communicating a message – let’s say a strategy - make sure it’s not the verbal equivalent of apple pie. You know – everyone loves it.
Like is your strategy to be innovative? To deliver top-quality customer service?
If so, that’s great. But not really sufficient. Unless you have a competitor who strives to do nothing new ever. Who wins by telling customer to [bleep] off and figure it out themselves.
If your message is just delivering a set of wholesome values then people will tune it out.
So how do you solve this? Push a step further down to the level at which something is debatable. Like maybe your message is that you’ll innovate by adding a specific feature to a family of your digital products. Or enhance customer service by letting go of scripts and empowering your service reps to listen and respond as they see fit.
These options have more meaning because there are alternative ways to drive innovation or service.
Now this doesn’t only apply to strategy setters. If you’re pitching an idea to your leader – how can you position it as specific (it will help us drive growth in this market because it has this feature) versus generic (it will drive growth)?
Offering something debatable causes the listener to be more thoughtful. And they’ll take meaning from it.
2. Connect dots
The next reason communication fails to make meaning? That there’s just so much of it.
I mean, who among us isn’t drowning in emails? In org announcements and product updates and action plans. We are taking in so much information all the time, it sometimes just doesn’t stick.
So what can you do here? Connect the dots. Pull seemingly disparate pieces together – help those around you see how this isn’t another thing but rather an extension of a thing already in flight.
Like maybe a few months ago you asked your boss if you could attend a 3-day product development conference. And a few weeks ago you asked your boss to help you find a mentor in product development inside the organization. And now a product development role has opened up and you’ve asked your boss to recommend you for it.
To you, it’s obvious. These asks are all connected. Obviously you’ve been looking to ready yourself for a role in product development.
But your boss is busy. With 7 other team members to manage. And maybe from their perspective you just keep asking for things!
So don’t apologize. Pull it all together. You’re doing the right thing in advocating for yourself. Just make it explicit. With each additional ask, help your boss see how it’s a build upon the last. So you’re really just executing one plan in a series of steps versus asking for things on repeat.
3. Be a cynic
Next thing that keeps communication from delivering meaning? It’s empty sunshine. But it doesn’t ring true.
So for you. If you’re a leader communicating change – don’t tell your team everything will be sunny. That every decision is designed to enhance their engagement, if in reality it’s about containing costs.
People see through that. And you lose trust.
Likewise, if you’re interviewing for a job please don’t ever say your biggest flaw is your undying commitment to perfection. Your inability to stop working because you love what you do so dang much.
Make sure you consider what you’re about to say – and make yourself hear it through the ears of a cynic.
Tell your teams that there is a need to contain costs. And you need to make a series of choices to do this – but at every decision point you’ll be considering the impact to their employee experience. And doing your best to preserve or even enhance it.
Tell the hiring leader you’ve had experience in the past taking on more than you could handle. And you’ve learned some lessons the hard way. And you’ve developed a new system for sense-checking yourself before committing.
We can be honest and still engaging in the messages we deliver. And we should be.
4. Find their why. Not yours.
And finally. Our message can seem empty when it presumes we all care about the same things – like, on a primal level.
There are the things we’re supposed to care about – may even performatively care about – and then the things that we crave. Selfishly. Humanly.
Tell your team that a change in product or process will grow company profitability or customer loyalty? Cute. But tell your team that implementing this change will enhance their individual paychecks? Their likelihood of promotion? Make their jobs simpler and more efficient? Better!
We need to be real. We’re all human. And wanting what we want – selfishly – isn’t a bad thing. It’s only a bad thing when we fail to connect with it in our communication.
Want to persuade your leader to give you a resource or even a chance to try something? Highlight how it will take one heavy thing off their plate or make them look good to their boss.
Watch impact happen real time.
I hope you’re feeling inspired to switch up your messaging. If so, drop me a note at rachel@leadabovenoise.com and let me know how it went!
Join me next week for another great episode. Until then, visit my website at leadabovenoise.com if your workplace could use an activation boost – a bootcamp, a keynote, a Pulse check – you choose. You can follow Modern Mentor on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Find and follow me on LinkedIn. Thanks so much for listening and have a successful week.
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