Imposter syndrome, for many, is a real challenge. But it’s overcomable. And today I’d love to share my secrets for keeping it at bay.
Imposter syndrome, for many, is a real challenge. But it’s overcomable. And today I’d love to share my secrets for keeping it at bay.
Modern Mentor is hosted by Rachel Cooke. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
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Hey, it’s Rachel Cooke, your Modern Mentor. I’m the founder of Lead Above Noise—a firm specializing in activating workplaces. Helping you discover ways to amplify performance AND employee engagement. Together. We do leader bootcamps, keynotes, and Pulse checks. Just let us know what you need.
OK. Quick question for you. Have you ever struggled with Imposter Syndrome? I’m guessing yes. Only because most people around me tend to nod in the face of that question.
What would you think of me if I told you I have lots of challenges (because I sure do!), but Imposter Syndrome just isn’t one of them? Would you think – wow Rachel’s ego is out of control? That clearly I’m short on self-awareness? That my confidence has no limits? Maybe.
But you’d be wrong.
Truth is, my secret to not struggling with Imposter Syndrome is just the opposite. It comes from my having a lot of humility. From knowing exactly where and when I fall short, and from being so super clear on what I’m not equipped to do that frankly the syndrome has gotten bored with me.
But I’m pretty sure I’m in a minority. So today – if you’ve ever struggled with feeling like an imposter in your own world – I’m gonna leave you equipped to slam the door in its face. Because while I don’t know how to do everything, I do know how to do this.
1. I see an ask for what it really requires
I do have confidence in myself. Don’t get me wrong. It’s reasonable and healthy – but it has its boundaries.
Want me to design and run a killer meeting? To activate your team or help you lead them effectively through change? No problem.
Want me to remove your kidney or fly you to Geneva? Pass.
OK – the flying and surgical references are a stretch. But stick with me here.
There’s a difference between things that might intimidate or challenge me, and things I’m just unqualified or uncertified to do. And I always force myself to see those distinctions clearly.
I know, for example, that I think in slides over spreadsheets. Which is a flippant way to say that I know if you’re looking for an experience, a transformation, the opportunity to learn and practice a new capability? I’m just who you need. And also there’s no one right way to do these. I feel good about mine.
And I know equally well that if you’re looking for a quantitative analysis of your organization’s effectiveness, or for a statistically valid survey? I’m just not.
I know what I do and what I don’t. And I’m really comfortable with that.
So for you the question is – what’s most intimidating you right now? What’s the challenge you’re struggling to take on?
Is your hesitation coming from a recognition that it’s not in your wheelhouse? Totally OK to step away.
Or do you just need to ask yourself – is there such a thing as “qualified”? Is there a right and wrong way? If not… go with your way.
2. I manage my brand to inform the opportunities
You may notice that every week I start and end this show with the same language around what I do. And as a result, I’m lucky to have listeners who reach out to me with invitations to speak, or run Activation bootcamps or Pulse Checks, or Leading Change workshops.
Never have I gotten a request to I build a website or analyze a compensation model, b. Because either of those would be disasters.
Now granted, this podcast which gives me a literal platform to say out loud what I do.
But also, in the day-to-day of running my business, I work with plenty of people who’ve never heard the show or even know I have one. And I don’t get to do officialsofficial intro or outros.
But I do get to share my expertise, my opinions, my areas of professional interest. And I’m intentional in what I touch and how I curate.
All of this helps position me in the minds of those I’m working with.
I never speak about pivot tables or backend analytics. I show up in every conversation with clarity around what I know and where I shine. And this essentially becomes my professional brand. It’s how I bring the right opportunities my way.
So how well are you doing this? Here are a few reflection questions:
· When you speak in a meeting, how intentional are you in waiting for moments when you have something uniquely different to ask or offer?
· When you offer to help a colleague, how intentional are you in saying “here’s where I can add the most value”?
· When you volunteer to sit on a committee or participate in a project, do you take the time to choose wisely the opportunities that will let you highlight what you most want to highlight?
When you work upfrontthe upfront work to filter the opportunities and requests that come your way, then by default you end up more confident in the doing of the thing. And Imposter Syndrome just has no room to breathe.
3. I play my mental achievement reel. A lot.
Hi, did I mention I’m not great at everything?
Imposter Syndrome feeds off our insecurity. But knowing that is a huge advantage for me. And so I fend it off by keeping present reminders I have of what I do well.
Not just with self-talk and mantras (though there’s totally a space for those) but with actual evidence. Of the things I’ve already accomplished successfully that I know will fuel the opportunity ahead.
At this point, I’ve delivered hundreds of keynotes, talks, and workshops. I’ve built activation blueprints for dozens of organizations across nearly every industry. I’ve designed and delivered a decade’s worth of executive offsites. And have tons of glowing reviews.
Now if that sounded braggy, I’m kind of sorry-not-sorry. Because I’m saying all that for my benefit. Not yours. These are the things I have to remember. I hold onto emails and testimonials and referrals I’ve earned. Because they remind me not just of what I could do but what I have done.
And you can do this for yourself even without a huge track record.
The very first time I was getting on a stage to speak? Terror. It was nearly paralyzing. And without a track record, Imposter Syndrome came knocking. But what did I do? I thought about wise comments I’d made during lectures in grad school. Or even intimidating conversations I'd had with leaders in meetings during my days of being a full-time employee.
Because these reminded me that I’ve spoken up before. Successfully. Which would help me on that stage.
So for you. What do you want to raise your hand for? Maybe it’s leading a big project. And you’re swirling in self-doubt. So try asking yourself…have you ever planned a big trip for friends or family? Led a discussion for your book club?
What have you already done that in some way is proof that you have this skill? And how can you extract just a little bit of confidence – and evidence of your capability – from that?
4. I ask for help like a pro
A huge – huge – driver of my confidence comes not just from my own experience, but fromform the richness of my network and my comfort in tapping it.
I ask for help. All. The. Time.
Because I know that as good as I can make a thing, I can make it that much better with the mindshare of those I trust around me.
When I say I can figure something out, what I mean is this: I’ll use what I know and I’ll do what I can. And when I hit a wall, which I nearly always do, I’ll reach out for support. For advice or intelligence or just an infusion of energy from a chat with a great friend.
So now, friend. What is the thing that has you most afraid? Most certain that if you tried you’d fail? Who do you know and trust who could help you pave the path through that? What do you need to ask of them?
Just do it.
I hope that if you’ve ever struggled with Imposter Syndrome, that there’s something I’ve offered here that you might borrow. I’d love to give you just the boost of confidence you need to take on that scary thing.
Join me next week for another great episode. Until then, visit my website at leadabovenoise.com if your workplace could use an activation boost – a bootcamp, a keynote, a Pulse check – you choose. You can follow Modern Mentor on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Find and follow me on LinkedIn. Thanks so much for listening and have a successful week.
Modern Mentor is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast. It's audio-engineered by Dan Feirabend. Our Director of Podcasts is Brannan Goetschius. Our Podcast and Advertising Operations Specialist is Morgan Christianson. Our Digital Operations Specialist is Holly Hutchings. Our Marketing and Publicity Associate is Davina Tomlin.