Being a giver at work can actually help you get ahead. When we give meaningfully and intentionally rather than indiscriminately and at our own expense. Here are 4 things a strategic giver will do – to infuse meaning into any situation.
Being a giver at work can actually help you get ahead. When we give meaningfully and intentionally rather than indiscriminately and at our own expense. Here are 4 things a strategic giver will do – to infuse meaning into any situation.
Modern Mentor is hosted by Rachel Cooke. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
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Hey, it’s Rachel Cooke, your Modern Mentor. I’m the founder of Lead Above Noise—a firm specializing in activating workplaces – helping leaders bring simplicity, ease, and big giant results to the forefront.
First, a loving reminder that your questions and curiosities are the fuel behind this show. So if something – anything workplace related – has been on your mind? Then leave me a voicemail with your question at (201) 677-8113. And I just may answer it on a future podcast. (Just be sure to let me know if you prefer fame or anonymity so I know whether or not to use your name).
These days, the workplace – whether in person or virtual – just isn’t doing it for a lot of us. Studies show that employee engagement, globally, is really down. Reports of joy, of excitement – these are all down. It’s overwhelming.
Today I’m going to give you the quick solution to all of these challenges.
Kidding!! No I’m absolutely not. But I am going to remind you of this: all these big challenges – engagement, joy, connection – they live on a dial. Not a switch. And our goal – as leaders or as citizens – isn’t to flip a switch from down to up. But rather to make progress every day – turning that dial just a smidge.
And one of the most powerful strategies we all have at our fingertips is generosity.
One of my personal heroes, Adam Grant, talks a lot about givers and takers in the workplace. And his research shows that givers, perhaps surprisingly, tend to be more successful than takers. But with an important caveat. In an HBR article, he says “Givers need to distinguish generosity from three other attributes—timidity, availability, and empathy.”
In other words, acts of generosity should be strategic. They should have intent. It is not generous to give away all your time and energy, but to do so meaningfully.
I’ve seen a lot of small moments of generosity in recent months. And today I’d love to share 4 that I think really pay off. For everyone.
1. Honor your promise to follow up
Have you ever been in a bad spot – maybe even felt a little bit desperate about something – and you reach out to someone for help? Like you’re without a job or are deeply unhappy in yours, and a friend has promised they’ll make an introduction or give you feedback on your resume?
You leave that conversation feeling grateful and excited for the help they’ve promised is coming. And you sit tight and wait. Because this is the thing you need most right now.
Meanwhile, that other person moved on to their next meeting, and hard truth friend – they’ve already forgotten about their promise to you.
Listen. I really believe most of us are mostly good. But we’re busy and we’re chasing our own priorities.
Taking the time to do the thing we’ve promised someone else – something that feels way more important to them than to us – is one of the greatest acts of generosity we can offer.
When you make a commitment, do what you must to remember it. Schedule it. Drop it in your bullet journal. Tell yourself you can’t have that next Tootsie Roll until you’ve done it.
But create an accountability to make it happen.
And also – if you know you’re not gonna be able to do it, or do it right away? Then be honest about it with the other person.
Like I just sent out a feedback survey to a number of very busy, very senior clients of mine. Immediately, a CEO replied to me saying he’s at an offsite this week but has booked time in his schedule to complete it for me next week.
His generosity is delightful. And he’s managed my expectations. How can you do the same?
2. Tell someone there’s spinach in their teeth
So if you’re at lunch with someone then literally. Tell them if they’ve got spinach in their teeth.
But in the office, this is more of a metaphor.
Sometimes we don’t mention the spinach – or the awkward thing -because it’s uncomfortable for us. But if we don’t lean into the discomfort then some poor fool is walking around with spinach in their teeth all day!
So what’s something you’ve observed about a colleague that you haven’t mentioned out of your own discomfort? But you know they’d benefit from hearing.
Maybe someone on your team has a reputation for taking way too long to make their point. So people avoid inviting them to meetings.
Maybe you know a colleague was passed over for a promotion because another leader expressed concern about their communication style or trustworthiness or ability to engage a team.
Whatever it is that you know or have observed – even if it’s uncomfortable to you – consider letting the other person know.
I just think we all deserve to know if something is holding us back. How else can we take steps to change?
3. Exclude someone from a meeting
I try to do yoga on the regular. I try. But if I’m honest, I have some pet peeves.
Like in a yoga class, we’re all supposed to love and welcome each other. Which sounds lovely. Until 2 minutes after class has started, someone comes in late and can’t find a spot.
And the teacher says “you’re welcome – come on in. We find space for everyone here.”
So we cram mats together and 5 minutes later I have a stranger’s foot in my face during Warrior 3.
I get it. The idea of including everyone is lovely. But in practice? Not always. In yoga class, everyone’s experience gets a little bit worse when we over-invite people in.
Inviting people in often feels like the generous thing. But sometimes it’s not.
Next time you’re scheduling a meeting – before you hit send, take a minute. And ask yourself. Is anyone on this list that doesn’t really need to be here? Who doesn’t have a specific contribution to make? Who can just be informed afterwards what the outcomes were?
Because these days we’re all overwhelmed. And the gift of 30 – 60 minutes of time can often be the most generous thing we can offer.
4. Show someone you remembered a thing
Earlier this year, someone reached out to me on LinkedIn and asked for 20 minutes to chat.
We hopped on a Zoom and I told her it was lovely to meet her.
She told me we’d actually met once before. It was years ago when she joined the company I was working for at the time. I had been one of many people she met as part of her onboarding plan.
Turns out she was reaching out now because in that one conversation I’d given her a piece of advice she’d held onto and implemented many times since.
I was speechless. I didn’t recall the conversation. But the advice sounded like a thing I’d have said.
People can say all sorts of lovely things to and about you. But sometimes the loveliest thing they can say is just that they were listening to you.
Maybe someone recommended a book to you. Or gave you a bit of advice on how to present to senior leaders. Or they mentioned a hobby or a favorite food.
Bringing that up in conversation – whether or not you read the book or heeded the advice or tried the food – just to let them know you heard and remembered? It can make someone’s day.
When we remind people their words and ideas have value, we encourage them to continue giving that value.
And there you have it. I’m hoping your spirit of generosity is feeling awake and ready to rock. Now go do something lovely today.
Join me next week for another great episode. Until then, visit my website at leadabovenoise.com if your workplace could use an activation boost – a talk, a workshop, a pulse check – you choose. You can follow Modern Mentor on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Find and follow me on LinkedIn. Thanks so much for listening and have a successful week.
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