Modern Mentor

Communication misses we need to start hitting

Episode Summary

Communication is a key capability in absolutely every industry. Many of us do it well. But even the best of us are missing some opportunities to maximize its value. Learn some of the most commonly missed opportunities and how to lean into them next time.

Episode Notes

Communication is a key capability in absolutely every industry. Many of us do it well. But even the best of us are missing some opportunities to maximize its value. Learn some of the most commonly missed opportunities and how to lean into them next time.

Modern Mentor is hosted by Rachel Cooke. A transcript is available at Simplecast.

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Episode Transcription

Hey, it’s Rachel Cooke, your Modern Mentor. I’m the founder of Lead Above Noise—a firm specializing in helping leaders and organizations crack their activation codes – finding the simple tweaks to enhance both performance and engagement.

I read an article earlier this week about the CEO of a company that recently celebrated some record-breaking success. And as teams were celebrating, they suddenly found, in their inboxes, an all-employee memo announcing 800 layoffs.

This memo was extremely well-written, professional, and clearly overseen by various communication executives.

And also. It came entirely out of the blue and was so profoundly tone-deaf, the CEO will likely be wading through a publicity nightmare that will cost him months and millions to resolve.

Specifically, some excerpts from this note included such phrases as:

·  “I am confident this is the right decision for our future”

·  “These adjustments will help enable us to build our momentum”

·  “We have much to be excited about”

Notice nothing there is profane or overtly offensive. What makes it offensive isn’t what was said, but rather what wasn’t considered. Like, humanity.

Honestly. Imagine being either one of the 800 to lose their job – or equally – someone still employed, and knowing you’ll be picking up the slack – and reading these comments which sound nothing but celebratory.

This CEO missed some huge opportunities here. Opportunities to show some real compassion and empathy. To say things like…

·  Here are some of the ways we’ll be supporting those who are exiting as they seek their next opportunities…

·  For those remaining with us, you may feel sad about seeing colleagues go, o. Or anxious about the workload you’ll be taking on. Here are some of the ways in which we’ll be supporting you…

With a little bit of thought and planning, he could have totally and completely shifted the tone – and the impact – of that one memo. Without changing the reality of the layoffs.

In any role, any industry, communication is key. And as a whole, I see us (the royal “us”) letting too many opportunities for good communication pass us by.

There are a few communication killers I see on repeat. And I’d like us to stop repeating them. Any of these resonate for you?

1.   Opportunity to empathize

This is the first and maybe the biggest. It’s precisely what the CEO earlier just showcased for us. Thank you, CEO.

We’re hearing a lot about empathy these days. But frankly I think a lot of leaders are still struggling to grasp it. They’re conflating empathy with sympathy – with an excess of softness or even disingenuous kindness.

But really, empathy is simply the willingness and ability to see something from the perspective of another. It’s not about not saying hard things. It’s about saying them in a way that helps them be received better.

I have one client, for example, who struggles with deadlines. As in – I submit a draft of something and it takes her a really long time to get me feedback. Which means our timeline keeps expanding.

What I want to say is “Hey friend, you’re killing me here. Please get me the feedback faster so we can lock this up!”

What I actually say? “I want to make sure we get the final product in your hands before the end of the quarter so you feel completely prepared and confident in rolling this out to the organization.”

Both say hey – I need you to move faster. But can you hear the difference? In one, I’m nagging her out of my own self-interest. In the other, I’m reminding her of why it’s best for her if we get it done quickly.

In both cases, she’s gotta hurry. But the empathetic message is more likely to trigger the behavior I want.

2.   Opportunity to raise up the lede

This is the opposite of burying the lede. You know, that thing we do when we say a whole bunch of words and somewhere in the back half is the point.

Take that last example I just shared about the foot-dragging client.

I could say to her something like “So I’m looking at our timeline and I see that we’ve done these 7 things and we still have these 5 things and I’ll be working on X while you pursue Y, and also if we don’t get it done within the week we’ll miss our deadline completely and I hope you enjoyed your weekend.”

Did you catch, toward the back, that whole – hey we may totally fail to get this done in time?

It may sound silly, but I see this all the time. I’ll be in a meeting with a leadership team and someone projects an project update with a million boxes and colors. And as they start talking, I see their colleagues struggling to stay awake. There are visuals on the board for days and a presenter fit to discuss it all. It’s too much.

I always counsel in these cases to start with a summary of the 2 -3 things everyone needs to know. Are we on track? Is something at risk? Do you need help? A resource?

The human attention span is getting shorter and shorter. So, make sure you frontload a conversation with the things people most need to know. So if they fall asleep, you still get what you need!

3.   Opportunity to get real input

Last time your boss asked you “Hey – have any feedback for me?”, what did you say?

You may be an outlier. I hope you are. But I can tell you with confidence that when many of my clients pose this question, they get some version of “Nah boss. You’re doing great.”

Same goes for the question “Here’s my plan – what do you think?” Easiest answer is “Looks great.”

In the world of real and meaningful communication, this is a huge missed opportunity. Because leader or not, we can all benefit from feedback on our performance or our plan or our pitch.

We just have to learn to ask better questions.

Instead of “Do you have feedback for me?” try asking  “Would you share 1 – 2 things I’m doing well and 1 – 2 things I might improve upon?”

Instead of “What do you think of my plan?” try “Here are my initial ideas, based on my experience. Would you poke a hole or help me see something I’ve overlooked or misunderstood?”

The shift is small. But the point is to ask a question that lovingly forces an answer, t. That leaves no room for “No. you’re all good” because that serves no one.

4.   Opportunity to connect

And finally. I’ve talked a lot about the importance of connection on the podcast - I will link to a few episodes in the show notes. And I echo connection often because it is like the lynchpin of communication - keeping the wheel of communication in motion. To be an intune CEO or a dialed in employee, connection is key. So this is a gentle public service announcement reminding you to be willing to step off agenda. To drive toward an outcome, but also know it’s OK to invest a few minutes in just chatting. Catching up. Finding something you and others in the room have in common. In other words, connecting.

It will absolutely serve your ability to collaborate on a stronger outcome.

 Good luck with your communication endeavors this week. Let me know how it goes.

Join me next week for another great episode. Until then, visit my website at leadabovenoise.com if your organization is looking to crack its activation code- dialing up performance and engagement. You can follow Modern Mentor on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Find and follow me on LinkedIn. Thanks so much for listening and have a successful week.

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