Let’s talk about small steps we can each take to turn up that connection dial.
Feeling connection at work really matters. It grounds you, it makes you feel part of an ecosystem, it provides space for collaboration and informal learning. Connection has been tough lately. Teams are struggling—they’ve never met in person or even haven’t seen each other in years, or they’re doing the hybrid thing but the workplace is emptier and just doesn’t feel as connective. Let’s talk about small steps we can each take to turn up that connection dial.
Modern Mentor is hosted by Rachel Cooke. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
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Hey, it’s Rachel Cooke, your Modern Mentor. And today I want to talk about feeling disconnected. Because a lot of us are. And there are steps we can take to turn things around. So let’s go.
I spent seven years in my last full-time job. I loved the work…for the first three years. I stayed for four more because of the people. I had built tremendous relationships at work—with colleagues, with internal clients, with vendors and partners. It really felt like my home away from home. And sometimes, when my kids were little, it actually felt more like a vacation.
But eventually, I got the itch to start my business—and leaving the job was easy. But leaving the people really left a mark.
Feeling connection at work really matters. It grounds you, it makes you feel part of an ecosystem, it provides space for collaboration and informal learning. And it doesn’t have to feel like home or like family—it just has to feel like your being there matters to someone else and vice versa.
Connection has been tough lately. I’m working with teams that are struggling—they’ve never met in person or haven’t seen each other in years, or they’re doing the hybrid thing but the workplace is emptier and just doesn’t feel as connected. Often, teams want to continue working remotely…they just also want to feel more connected to each other.
I know for me, feeling disconnected impacts my energy, my creativity, and my desire to push myself. And not in a good way.
What about you? How do you experience disconnection? If you’re feeling its impact, here are some strategies I’m seeing people use successfully around me.
If you’re on LinkedIn (please tell me you’re on LinkedIn) you’ve probably noticed some newish frames around people’s profile pics—“hiring” or “open to work.” Personally, I love when people use these. I have so many talented people in my network…but when I can make a match between someone looking for a job and another looking to hire, it makes my day.
Anyone could be looking for work or talent on any given day…but only when someone actively puts it out there—literally in a ring around their face—do I know to be hunting for opportunities on their behalf. I can’t guarantee an outcome. But I can lean into trying to help.
Now if you’re hunting not for a job but for a stronger connection at work, the same principle applies. You don’t need to wear a sign or badge (though if you’re bold enough, I say go for it!)—but let people around you know you’re looking to dial up that feeling of camaraderie at work. Putting it out there invites people to find opportunities to draw you in. Let the people who care about you know what you’re hunting for.
Here’s what not to do: Fill your days with back-to-back meetings, throw up your hands and accept there’s just no time for connection because you’re overbooked.
What to do? Establish a commitment to yourself—like two 30-minute coffee dates per week. They go on your calendar and you honor and protect those commitments unless something truly urgent or exceptional bumps them.
Connecting with colleagues for the sole purpose of building relationships is not an extracurricular activity. It’s part of the job—it’s an enabler of your wellbeing, your personal development, your engagement. So treat it accordingly.
And if you’re truly unable to carve out one or two 30-minute windows per week, then it’s time to talk to your boss about managing your priorities.
I’m seeing teams start Slack channels, share Google docs, do Friday meetups—all of which are strategies designed just to keep the lines of communication open.
You may use the time and space to share vacation pics or book recommendations, to coach and support each other toward your goals, to share wins…there are no hard or fast rules. It’s about having an ongoing conversation that’s not about work timelines or deliverables.
Or if your company offers them, you might join an employee affinity or resource group just to connect with people who share your background or interests.
Creating spaces like this—virtual or in-person—gives people an opportunity to get to know each other, to share and celebrate and grow. This is the stuff I miss most from my full-time days.
A great way to connect with people one-on-one is to follow up on something they’ve said.
Maybe a colleague mentioned a book they read or they shared an interesting idea or posed a question in a meeting that got you thinking a little bit differently.
Follow up a few weeks later. Did you pick up the same book? Let them know what you enjoyed most about it. Did you do some research following up on their idea? Or did their question shift your thinking to a new place? Pick up the phone and let them know how their words stayed with you. This is such an awesome conversation starter.
It’s easy to get lost in the work. I’m guilty of this often. I put my head down and I fall into the zone.
My default is to go it alone and reach out only when I hit a wall and can’t figure out a path forward.
One of my goals this year is to reach out more—not just for 911-style help, but for more perspective, more insight. People around me have a wealth of experience and ideas, and I should be tapping into those often. Not only because it bumps up the quality of my work, but because it’s connective. I’ll never be disingenuous—I won’t ask for input where I’ve already completed the work—but I will be more curious and open and hungry for more collective wisdom.
If you’re feeling disconnected—and I know for sure that so many of you are—then I guarantee people around you are as well. So keep an eye out. Look for signs—seek out colleagues who seem to be speaking up less in meetings or haven’t shown up at a virtual happy hour in a while. They may be struggling. And now, you’re armed with a bunch of wisdom that may just help you both!
Now get on out there and go connect with someone today.
Hope you’ll join me next week for another great episode. Until then, you can follow Modern Mentor on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Check out my website at leadabovenoise.com or follow me on the Modern Mentor podcast page on LinkedIn. Thanks so much for listening and have a successful week.