Modern Mentor

How to break the spin cycle at work

Episode Summary

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. So let’s break the cycle.

Episode Notes

 Sometimes bad things happen. But when the same bad things happen time and again, it’s time to break the cycle and start fresh.

Modern Mentor is hosted by Rachel Cooke. A transcript is available at Simplecast.

Have a question for Modern Mentor? Email us at modernmentor@quickanddirtytips.com.

Find Modern Mentor on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn, or subscribe to the newsletter to get more tips to fuel your professional success.

Modern Mentor is a part of Quick and Dirty Tips.

Links: 
https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/
https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/modern-mentor-newsletter
https://www.facebook.com/QDTModernMentor
https://twitter.com/QDTModernMentor
https://www.linkedin.com/company/modern-mentor-podcast/
https://www.leadabovenoise.com/

Episode Transcription

Hey, it’s Rachel Cooke, your Modern Mentor. I’m the founder of Lead Above Noise—a firm specializing in helping teams and organizations create employee experiences that keep talent engaged.

One of the biggest drivers of disengagement I see in organizations? It’s the feeling of spinning your wheels in the working world. It’s when a frustrating thing happens. And you deal with it. But then it happens again and again, on repeat. And all you want to do is break the cycle. But you can’t quite see your way out.

As the royal “they” like to say, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. So let’s break the cycle.

Let’s talk today about some of the most common wheel-spinning scenarios that keep hitting my radar, and some steps you can take to crack them open.

1. Getting left off the invite list for the big meeting

As much as we all complain about too many meetings (and yes, there are generally too many meetings), the truth is that not all meetings are bad. Some really important things happen in meetings—voices get heard, decisions get made, timelines get set, resources get allocated. And so while we all want our time to be respected, we also want a chance to participate in the consequential conversations.

And I hear, on the regular, from people who feel they’re getting left out of important conversations. Which means they’re not influencing an outcome they care about, or getting exposure to senior leaders whose opinions really matter. And unfortunately, we have a tendency to assume the worst—that someone is leaving us out on purpose.

If this is a thing you’ve experienced, let’s think about what might be going on here. And frustrating though it is, rarely is it evil.

More likely…

• The meeting organizer isn’t aware of the role you’re playing in this project.
• Or a senior leader has asked that the list of attendees be kept small.
• Or your boss is (misguidedly) trying to preserve your time and energy.

And in any of these more likely scenarios, your move should be to inform, advocate for yourself, or correct false assumptions.

Touch base with the organizer. Let them know that given your role in this work, it would help you to participate in the conversation so you’re always clear on timelines, deliverables, or real-time changes to the work.

If that senior leader is trying to keep the group small, then recognize you may not belong on the recurring meeting, but perhaps you can choose specific times when a key decision is being made or a challenge is being addressed and you’d benefit from being there. Try talking to that leader’s assistant, or ask your own leader to go to bat for you. Just be specific about how you and the work will benefit from your presence.

And finally, if it’s a boss thing… just be kindly candid. Let your boss know how much you appreciate their protecting your time. But given your ambition of… (well, you need to state your ambition here), you think this meeting would help you learn or achieve or contribute to XYZ thing, and therefore you’d love to attend next time.

2. Not getting airtime in meetings

Sometimes getting to the meeting is the easy part. But it’s finding a spot to get your voice heard that’s challenging. And so, so frustrating.

It just seems like some people are better than others at grabbing the proverbial mic. They always jump in with something to say. Or once they start talking they can’t seem to get to the point. Or they steamroll or interrupt others.

Frankly, it’s their bad behavior that’s the problem. But if you’re struggling to insert yourself into the dialog, then you’re the one who has to step up and solve it.

Here are some of my suggestions.

• Try talking privately with the over-talkers. Without cruelty or criticism, just let them know that you admire how confidently they grab the mic, and you’re hoping for their support in occasionally passing it to you. They may not be aware of how much air they’re taking up. So highlight it for them without making them self-conscious.
• Or try talking to the organizer of the meeting. Let them know you’ve been trying to find your way in, and suggest they try some new strategies, like rounding the room for everyone’s opinion, or just intentionally calling on the people who haven’t spoken up and inviting their contributions.
• Or finally, offer to run the meeting every now and then. Prepare an agenda that carves out time for each person to speak. Allocate windows of time. And hold people to it.

3. Not having enough time to get it done

Here’s another repeating problem I hear people battling.

Projects and timelines don’t add up.

“My boss wants 6 weeks’ worth of work done in two.” Or, “The timeline seemed totally reasonable at the start, but a decision got stuck in a bucket of bureaucracy and no one extended the due date.” Or, “We always get our part done but [insert name of other team] is always the hold-up. And we all take the blame for missing the deadline.”

Any of this feel familiar to you?

If so, here are some recommendations I’d love to leave you with.

• When your boss drops the timeline, just be honest. So often our leaders think we can do anything. And that’s amazing. But they don’t have their finger on the pulse of reality. Paint a picture of all the activities that need to happen and reasonably how long they’ll take. Manage your boss’s expectations.
• Flag—and plan for—as many key decisions as you can at the start of the project. Let decision-makers know what decisions will need to be made on what timeline so they can be ready to move quickly when the time comes.
• Strategize early with your key collaborators. Find a point person on that marketing or finance team and put some check-ins on the calendar early. Without finger-pointing, just let them know you’re excited for the partnership and want to be sure your team and theirs are ready to do everything it takes to get the work delivered on time.

4. Having to start from scratch. Again.

You know when you start a thing, you show it to your boss, your boss says it’s not quite right, so you need to start again?

Ugh.

It’s the worst. And almost always, it’s triggered by a lack of clarity of expectations.

So here are some things you can do at the outset to avoid this reality.

• Ask annoyingly detailed questions of your boss at the kickoff. Leave abundantly clear about what exactly the outcome needs to be.
• Set up more check-ins than you think you’ll need. Sometimes we go too far down the wrong path before we realize it. So check in early and often so if you do need to course correct, not much time or energy has been wasted.
• Ask your boss for help. “I’m noticing this pattern where every time I start down a path, it seems like I’m not meeting your expectations and have to start again. Do you have any advice for me on how we can get better aligned at the start? I hate wasting your time as much as mine!”

Hope something in here might help you find your way out of your own spin cycle!

Join me next week for another great episode. Until then, visit my website at leadabovenoise.com if your organization is looking to dial up its Employee Experience or deliver some leadership development that activates change. You can follow Modern Mentor on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Find and follow me on LinkedIn. Thanks so much for listening and have a successful week.